Does anyone else feel like when they write out their feelings like this, it’s so inadequate that they just wish they hadn’t? The urge in me to delete is very strong, but I’m trying not to be such a sissy for once.
An inadequate attempt to broadcast a few of my fears, so they might stop eating me up quite so much.
How’s this for fucked up? I don’t believe in shame, but I feel ashamed.
I feel like I’ve let down family, and let down myself. I should have been paying more attention, keeping it together. I was blind. And if it’s not because of me, then I should have known better to [...]
A month ago the prospect of me being possessive, defensive, and closed was out of character. My philosophy is clear: people stay with each other because they choose to, not because they have to. To cling to the way things “should be” is just asking for pain.
So what the hell happened? Why [...]
So I talked about “going crazy” as if it was this great thing that I was working on. When I was a teenager, I was thinking I could always go crazy if things got too bad (as an alternative to suicide and continuing to put up with the pain). Right now, the thought [...]
It spins and reels and turns upside down. The earth comes out from underneath. There’s nothing quite like it. From the outside, looking in on the one being spun, it always looks so much simpler; that’s because to the observer, the world is pretty much staying put, just the spinner is spinning. [...]
The other month an old friend from high school contacted me via facebook. I hadn’t communicated with her for 8 or 9 years. Anyway, we only messaged once; but I got a chance to look at her profile (and she probably looked at mine). Hers had this interesting bit about how she’s [...]
There’s an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation called Symbiosis which focuses on a dependent relationship between two neighboring planets. A long time ago, one of the planets (Ornara) became more technologically advanced, while the other (Brekka) languished. Then, a terrific plague struck both planets, and the cure was found in a [...]
This week, I discovered that pears are yummy. And there are lots of different kinds, just like with apples. Who knew? Try a few!
we are crabs
or shrimp
or some other crustacean
crawling along the bottom.
birds are fish
way up there is the surface
but we can’t breathe there
so we don’t go there
and we don’t know what’s out there.
air is a fluid